How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a timeless self-help classic, but it’s not without its problems. Readers criticize its outdated anecdotes, repetitive structure, manipulative undertones, and lack of modern relevance. While many praise its practical advice for improving interpersonal skills, others find the book’s approach overly simplistic, lacking intellectual rigor, and better suited for business contexts than genuine relationships. Below, we explore these issues in depth, drawing from reader reactions to highlight why this iconic book sparks such mixed responses.
When I first picked up How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie, I was intrigued by its reputation as a cornerstone of personal development literature. First published in 1936, the book has sold millions of copies and remains a go-to resource for improving communication and leadership skills. Its principles—such as avoiding criticism, showing genuine interest in others, and smiling more—are lauded for their simplicity and effectiveness. Yet, after diving into over 100 reader reviews from platforms like Amazon and Goodreads, I found a recurring theme: while many adore the book’s timeless wisdom, others feel it falls short in significant ways. From outdated stories to accusations of manipulation, the criticisms reveal a complex picture of a book that doesn’t resonate with everyone. Let’s explore the key problems readers have identified and why they matter.
7 Key Problems with How to Win Friends & Influence People in 2025
1) Outdated Anecdotes and Historical Disconnect
One of the most frequent criticisms is the book’s reliance on dated anecdotes. Carnegie peppers his advice with stories about historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, and William Taft, as well as events like the Teapot Dome scandal. For modern readers, these references often feel irrelevant. As one reviewer, Sonny Del Grosso, put it, “I couldn’t make it through the first twenty pages due to all the obscure, irrelevant and outdated reference points.” This sentiment is echoed across many reviews, with readers like Monroe noting that the “old English quotations and stories of comparison” make the book feel like a relic from “the 1500s.”
The issue isn’t just the age of the examples but their disconnect from today’s world. Readers like Phillip A. Chairez express frustration that references to “WWI, steel producing companies, and the Civil War era” don’t resonate with a generation accustomed to modern icons like Apple or Elon Musk. Even updated editions, which claim to be revised for contemporary audiences, often retain these historical anecdotes, leaving readers like Christopher S. Hightower disappointed: “I had high hopes for the latest edition, hoping they would overhaul the writing style and give updated examples. I think they actually reverted from the last edition.”
This reliance on outdated stories can make the book feel like a time capsule, more suited for your grandparents’ bookshelf than a 21st-century reader’s Kindle. While Carnegie’s principles may be timeless, the delivery often feels stuck in the 1930s, alienating younger readers or those seeking relatable, modern applications.
2) Repetitive Structure and Lack of Conciseness
Another common critique is the book’s repetitive nature. Carnegie organizes the book into four parts—techniques for handling people, making people like you, winning people to your way of thinking, and being a leader—each with multiple principles illustrated by anecdotes. However, many readers find that the same ideas are reiterated across chapters, padded with excessive stories. One reviewer, Verified Purchaser, noted, “The book was really long for what it was. I believe some chapters could have been combined into a shorter, single chapter.”
This sentiment is widespread. Readers like Lara describe the content as “repetitive, vague, and unnecessary,” pointing out that principles like letting others speak are repeated multiple times. Others, like That Carlos Guy, found the book “boring to read and go over the same topics over and over again, just with a different story to back it up.” For readers who value concise, actionable advice, Carnegie’s long-winded storytelling can feel like a slog. As angela wratten put it, “Boring, way too many scenarios that you can’t relate to. The tips could’ve been given in a much simpler way.”
The repetitive structure also contributes to a sense of fluff. Adam Klimmek, who gave the book a two-star rating, argues that “proportionally speaking, this book is about 1% content,” with the rest consisting of “anecdotes, random quotes, the author repeating himself, and other fluff.” For readers expecting a streamlined guide, the book’s meandering style can be a significant barrier.
3) Accusations of Manipulation and Inauthenticity
Perhaps the most polarizing criticism is that Carnegie’s advice feels manipulative or inauthentic. While the book emphasizes empathy, genuine interest, and positive interactions, some readers interpret these strategies as tactics to exploit others’ egos for personal gain. One reviewer, Aaron Zeisel, went so far as to call it “an outright evil education on manipulation,” citing the example of Carnegie assuming Mrs. McKinley’s desire for her husband’s attention was merely about feeling important. Similarly, Reza Rahman references Charles Manson’s alleged use of Carnegie’s techniques to manipulate others, suggesting the book is a “cynical handbook” for pandering to people’s worst impulses.
This perception of manipulation stems from Carnegie’s focus on techniques like making others feel important or avoiding arguments to achieve desired outcomes. For instance, Alberto Cadeddu summarizes the book’s advice as “be fake with everyone you’re talking with” and “let them believe they are smart.” Readers like fnnychck felt a “knot in my stomach” while reading, describing the book as “straight from the pits of hell” for teaching “how to not be yourself and be fake to get what you want.”
This critique resonates particularly with readers who value authenticity. For them, Carnegie’s advice—such as always smiling or never criticizing—feels like a facade that prioritizes pleasing others over being true to oneself. As Amazon Customer noted, “Works only for people in the business and politics industry. If you want to learn how to be yourself, this is NOT the book.” For these readers, the book’s emphasis on influencing others can feel like a recipe for becoming a “doormat” or “nice guy” who sacrifices personal integrity.
4) Lack of Intellectual Rigor and Scientific Backing
For readers seeking evidence-based insights, the book’s lack of intellectual rigor is a significant drawback. Carnegie relies heavily on anecdotes and quotes from historical figures, philosophers, and his own experiences, but offers little in the way of scientific studies or psychological research. Adam Klimmek criticizes this approach, noting that “the number of psych studies mentioned throughout the book can practically be counted on one hand.” He argues that Carnegie’s “cherry-picked anecdotes” and unqualified claims lack the nuance needed for a serious work of psychology.
This absence of empirical evidence frustrates readers who expect more robust support for Carnegie’s assertions. For example, Kyle N. points out that the book’s reliance on “endless appeals to ethos” and references to figures like Confucius and Napoleon creates a “web of loose connections” rather than a cohesive argument. Similarly, Happybroadcast notes that “most of the teachings derive from anecdotes with little to no data or scientific studies,” likening the book to a friend sharing hearsay rather than a scholarly resource.
This lack of rigor can make the book feel simplistic or outdated, especially for readers accustomed to modern self-help books that integrate psychological research or data-driven insights. As I. Gurin suggests, Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People may be a better choice for those seeking a more structured and belief-driven approach.
5) Limited Relevance for Modern Contexts
While Carnegie’s principles are often described as timeless, many readers argue they don’t fully translate to today’s complex social and professional landscapes. For instance, emm, who read the book for work-related issues, found the advice “insufficient for modern business.” They note that while praising others is valuable, “you can trip over yourself praising and being personally interested in someone but they will forget it very quickly the first time you give them constructive feedback.” In today’s workplace, where documented discipline and accountability are often necessary, Carnegie’s emphasis on avoiding criticism can feel impractical.
Readers also point out that the book’s focus on business and sales applications limits its utility for personal relationships. Jason, who gave the book four stars, admits that while it offers “great useful tips,” it left him with an “icky” feeling because it frames people as “self-centered and egotistical,” teaching readers to exploit these traits. Similarly, Scott, a 16-year-old reader, notes that the book’s title is misleading, as it’s less about making friends and more about professional communication. For readers seeking guidance on genuine friendships or romantic relationships, the book’s strategies can feel misaligned, with some, like Cee, warning that following its advice with “the ladies” could lead to being “friendzoned.”
6) Physical and Technical Issues
Beyond content, some readers expressed frustration with the physical quality of the book or its digital versions. Several reported issues with printing, such as Jay S., who received a copy with “thin and flimsy” paper and faded text, or Karina, whose book arrived with ripped pages. Others, like Maximus, complained about the Kindle version’s “light grey” font, which made reading difficult. Amazon Customer was disappointed that the Audible version didn’t sync with the book, describing it as a “major deception.” These technical issues, while not related to the content, add to the negative experience for some readers.
7) A Polarizing Classic
Despite these criticisms, it’s worth noting that How to Win Friends & Influence People still garners significant praise. Many readers, like MISS MARIE, credit the book with transforming their professional lives, emphasizing its “common sense” principles that serve as a “personal compass.” Others, like Trevor Miller, describe it as “life-changing,” particularly for those struggling with social skills or seeking personal growth. The book’s enduring popularity—evidenced by its status as one of Warren Buffett’s favorite reads—speaks to its ability to resonate with a wide audience.
Yet, the problems highlighted by readers reveal a book that doesn’t fully satisfy everyone. Its dated anecdotes, repetitive structure, and perceived manipulative undertones can alienate modern readers seeking authenticity or evidence-based advice. The lack of nuance and scientific backing further limits its appeal for those who value intellectual rigor. As Andrewslogs bluntly states, “I did not win any more friends or influence any more people after reading this book than what I started with.”
Conclusion: A Classic with Caveats
Reflecting on these reviews, I’m struck by the polarized emotions How to Win Friends & Influence People evokes. For some, it’s a transformative guide that distills essential truths about human interaction. For others, it’s a dated, manipulative manual that overcomplicates common sense. The truth likely lies in the middle: Carnegie’s principles are valuable for those in leadership or sales roles, but they require adaptation to fit today’s world. The book’s flaws—its historical disconnect, repetitive anecdotes, and lack of scientific grounding—don’t negate its impact but do highlight the need for a critical approach when applying its advice.
If you’re considering this classic, approach it with an open mind but a discerning eye. Skim the anecdotes if they feel tedious, focus on the core principles, and adapt them to your context. For those seeking a more modern or authentic approach to relationships, newer books like Covey’s The 7 Habits or Nathaniel Branden’s Honoring the Self might offer a better fit. Ultimately, Carnegie’s book remains a landmark in self-help literature, but its imperfections remind us that no single guide holds all the answers to navigating the complex world of human connections.
